T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
