I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
