Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize