I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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