I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
Randomize
