if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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