so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
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