I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Randomize
