Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
