We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
