uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
