I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
