This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
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