Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
