On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I just want to make out with him forever
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
