Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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