My friends, they love my intelligence
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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