i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
Two words: nipple clamps
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