Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
