Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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