This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
