i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
