Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
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