There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
