Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
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