Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
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