Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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