what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Randomize
