a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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