nut hugger
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
