ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
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