Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
