i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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