You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
Randomize
