hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
Is Oprah even human
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
