She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I just had sex on a roof
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
