Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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