with your own penis?
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Randomize
