kristin has been a bad kristin
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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