Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Randomize
