Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just cut my nipple shaving
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
