Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
