I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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