Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
