Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
