So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
