I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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