yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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