Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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