his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
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