Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
Randomize
