Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
True or false: I did not bring home a 28 year old last night.
True? Did she teach you things?
She taught me the meaning of awkward goodbyes at 530 am.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Randomize
