They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Randomize
