The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize
