You work out of a Hotel?
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
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