I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
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