I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
